#OrdainKloehn

On Saturday, May 14, I was ordained into the ministry of Word and Sacrament in the ELCA!

The service was held in my home congregation—Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Encinitas, CA—and the Rev. Laura Ziehl, Bishop Mark Holmerud, and the Rev. Amanda Nelson presided. 


As I begin this new iteration of ministry, gratitude is all that comes to mind. These words of thanks were printed in my ordination bulletin:

The depth of my gratitude for those who made this day possible could never be expressed wholly in words, but I never shy away from an opportunity to say something.

I am grateful to my parents, Karin and Gary, for approximately one million things, but especially for their love, support, listening ears, crying eyes, welcoming arms, and open hearts. I am grateful to the Alexes for their love and joyous laughter and willingness to take probably two red-eyes to be here. I am grateful for all the Turpins and Kloehns (and everyone in between), my original cloud of witnesses and communion of saints.

I am grateful to my partner in learning and in love, Jonathan, for his seemingly un-ending willingness to try new things—like date a pastor and read poetry—and for his encouragement in all that I do. I am grateful to my best friend, the Rev. Amanda Nelson, for her grace and wisdom throughout seminary and into our ordained lives (ack!)—and for every minute of silliness that has kept us together.

I am grateful for my sister (bloodlines notwithstanding) Kelsey Sprowell and for the Rev. Gretchen Rode and the Rev. Maria Anderson—the other Pastoritas—whose presence and absence is most certainly felt.

I am grateful for the love and support of my two bonus families—the Vance and Fields clans—and for the years of joys and challenges we’ve seen through together. That so many of you are here today renders me (nearly) speechless.

I am grateful for my colleagues and comrades of Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary and the Sierra Pacific Synod, whose community and leadership sustained me throughout my seminary career and into this first call.

I am grateful to all the good folks at The Belfry—my dear students and LEVNeers, to say the least—who provide me the privilege of doing what I love every day.

I am grateful to the pastoral, professional, and professorial squad of California Lutheran University—including but not limited to the Revs. Scott and Melissa Maxwell-Doherty, President Chris Kimball, and the Religion Department—especially the Rev. Dr. Julia Fogg, for her mentorship, for introducing me to Türkiye, for laughing with me throughout Biblical Greek, and for continuing to model the particular strength that women bring to ministry.

I am grateful for Jonathan Garman and the whole BLCYM—those who led me in my youth and those who humored me as I led them in their youth. I’d drive a 15-passenger-van full of y’all every summer in a heartbeat.

I am grateful to the Rev. Laura Ziehl and to Mona Goetsch and to all the good folks here at Bethlehem who did a lot of work to make this evening go as swimmingly as (I imagine, as I type this weeks in advance) it did.

I am grateful for everyone who participated tonight—Global Music Ensemble, ushers, communion assistants, readers, reception-setter-uppers, and every other detailer whom I’ve forgotten—for being part of this monumental day in my life and ministry.


And I am grateful for you! Since you’re here and reading this, you’re part of how I got to this moment in this place. Your community, support, and prayer are integral to my life and work. I’m so glad you’re here to celebrate with me.

And for you, dear reader, I am grateful. Thanks for being the unknown people to whom I blog away the weeks. You're part of my work (and play) and I appreciate you. 

What Shall I Cry?


Grace and peace from God our Creator, Hope in our Redeemer Jesus the Christ, and the promised gifts of the Holy Spirit are with you, always. Amen.

My friends Gretchen and Maria and I did a project for our Old Testament class, the very first semester of seminary, in which we taught our classmates about the Psalms. We made up a bunch of skits enacting various kinds of psalms, with props and stupid stuff. We’re nerds. 

There are a lot of different kinds of psalms—celebratory, harvest, royal, coronation, victory, you name it, there’s a psalm for that. Gretchen’s favorite, though, is the lament psalm. Psalm 13 is her all time favorite because it opens, straight up, with a cry: HOW LONG O LORD? In our presentation, Gretchen laid down on the floor in anguish and shouted the entirety of Psalm 13. I will not reenact that for you just now, but I think you’ve got the idea. 

Did you know that back in the day, there were professional lamenters? Professional mourners? A family would gather these people—usually women—to weep and wail and cry out to God on behalf of their loss. Gretchen would be very good at this. We have lost this art as a people. We have lost the ability to sit in the depths of our…stuff…and cry out. We have invented so many saccharine platitudes for the devastation we face. “Everything happens for a reason,” we say. “Time heals all wounds,” we say. 

Somewhere along the way we decided that these are words of comfort. Comfort, oh comfort my people, so says our God. My internship supervisor told me once that pastors have two jobs: comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. 

I grew up in those pews. I know how comfortable we are. I grew up in those pews while Ray Hartzell stood here. And if word got back to Pastor Ray—let alone Jesus—that I had the privilege to stand before you this morning and I did not cry out in mourning about the depth of the racial injustice that has been and is being perpetrated in this our great nation, I would be mortified. Pastor Ray stood here and proclaimed the good news of Jesus the Christ while never letting me forget that, once I’d heard it, I could never be the same. I could never abide the status quo. Pastor Ray read me the words of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. alongside the prophets. Pastor Ray told me about the marches in Alabama and Mississippi and in Washington DC and about how Dr. King cried out in lament for the lives and deaths of his people. Pastor Ray told me about that 20 years ago. Pastor Ray and Dr. King marched 50 years ago. But here, in the United States of America in 2014, still, a voice cries out.

In July, a 43-year-old black man named Eric Garner died of complications related to his asthma after being held in a chokehold by a white New York City police officer until he cried out, “I can’t breathe.” 
In August, an 18-year-old black man named Michael Brown was shot and killed by a white Ferguson police officer, after throwing up his hands and crying out, “I don’t have a gun! Stop shooting!” 
In August, a 22-year-old black man named John Crawford was shot and killed by a white police officer in a Walmart in Ohio while holding a toy gun, crying out, “it’s not real!” 
Three weeks ago, a 12-year-old black boy named Tamir Rice was shot and killed by a white police officer in Cleveland while holding a toy gun, and did not even have time to cry out. 
Two weeks ago, the grand jury in Missouri did not indict the officer who killed Michael Brown. 
On Wednesday, the grand jury in New York did not indict the officer who killed Eric Garner. 
On Friday, the grand jury in Ohio did not indict the officer who killed John Crawford.

You probably saw on television, on Facebook, on Twitter, on just about everywhere that people have taken to the streets in protest of these injustices. Some of these protests turned into riots. Some fires were started. Some people were injured. Some people were arrested. More people came back the next morning to protest again. Demonstrations in support of these communities have spread to cities all across the United States. President Obama and other leaders have called for peaceful protests and nonviolent resistance. You’ve probably seen the signs and the hashtags “Black Lives Matter” and “No Justice, No Peace.”

The Rev Dr Martin Luther King has a lot to say about this. In March of 1968 he spoke to the Grosse Point Historical Society about nonviolent resistance. He said, “I would be the first to say that I am still committed to militant, powerful, massive, non­-violence as the most potent weapon in grappling with the problem from a direct action point of view. I'm absolutely convinced that a riot merely intensifies the fears of the white community while relieving the guilt. And I feel that we must always work with an effective, powerful weapon and method that brings about tangible results. But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard.”

Isaiah prophesies in this morning’s text, “A voice says, ‘cry out!’ and I say, ‘What shall I cry?’. In the Gospel According to Mark this morning it was written that a voice cries out in the wilderness “prepare the way of the Lord!” What kind of way are we preparing? What kind of wilderness is this?

New York City Mayor Bill deBlasio said on Wednesday that we should not have to proclaim that Black Lives Matter because we should know that all lives matter. We, as people of God, know that all lives matter. But because we as Americans have built ourselves a system in which only some lives matter, in which only white lives matter, we have to cry out BLACK LIVES MATTER! We have to cry out NO JUSTICE NO PEACE! We have to cry out LORD HAVE MERCY! We have to cry out HOW LONG O LORD! We have to cry out!

The operative part of Isaiah’s prophecy is that we are not the first to speak. A voice says, “cry out!” and we say, “What shall I cry?” First, we must listen. I, as a white person of privilege who may go so far as to call myself a white ally has a responsibility to listen this time. All evidence to the contrary as I spew hundreds of words at you, it is my job and it is our collective duty to listen. Then, after we have listened, we must use our voices to amplify the voices of those who remain unheard. 

One of the ways that we use our voices as people of faith is by singing. We sing together every week, all year. Here at Bethlehem we have the opportunity to sing in a variety of languages—ours and not—of joys—ours and not—of struggles—ours and not. We sing the histories of people of faith throughout the centuries around the world. We sing old spirituals and protest songs, and we sing about the counter-cultural events that took place throughout scripture. When we sing laments together, our songs are an expression of our grief but they are also an expression of our hope. When we cry out to God, we have hope that God hears us. We have hope that God cries with us. When we cry out to God together, we have hope that in our togetherness, our work will bring about justice.

Writing the lament part of this sermon was super easy. I got really emotional and typed in all capital letters as I expressed my grief. Once that was on paper, I had to figure out where that expression of hope was going to come in. I thought about your faces, and me standing up here staring into them, exhausted, somehow not having a word of hope to proclaim. But that was just it. I thought about your faces. I thought about you. I thought about us, the body of Christ. I thought about the community that we are, the force for good that we are, together. I remembered that it’s not just you and not just me—it’s us. This work of lament and prayer and protest and hope and justice is not just mine or yours, it’s ours.

Walter Brueggemann, who just may be my favorite Old Testament scholar, reassures us that this work is for us. We don’t all need to be protesting in the street, late into the night. Some of us can instead be reading more about our history and how it led us to this place; some of us can be talking to people whose experiences are different from ours, and learning from them; some of us can be reading the lament psalms over and over and over. Brueggemann says that “We can’t expect everybody to be in the same place of radicality, but we can expect the people to be engaged as they are able. We need to grow and deepen our understanding.” 

You don’t need to be any sort of professional to do this work. You, as a person of faith, as a child of God, as a person who happens to be in the pews this morning for whatever reason—you have all the qualifications you need. If the scriptures are any indication, “public transformation happened by the courage of uncredentialed people.” 

That's you! That’s me! That’s us! We’re called to this, all together. And it can and must look like so many different things. “We have to be engaged on every front because the issue is so urgent and the problems are so complex that there cannot be a single strategy. As we grow in our commitment to racial equality or social justice we have to be very imaginative. We have to find ways that have transformative potential.” What do you imagine would transform the world around you? What do you Imagine that might transform you?

Remember that being Christians has always called us to be counter-cultural. Walter Brueggemann says, too, that “The Gospel is a very dangerous idea. We have to see how much of that dangerous idea we can perform in our own lives. There is nothing innocuous or safe about the Gospel. Jesus did not get crucified because he was a nice man.” 
This work of proclaiming the Gospel and lamenting injustice, to which we are called, has never been easy—that’s not about to change. It’s not easy or safe or comfortable to admit complicity in a racist system. It’s not easy or safe or comfortable to watch as violence erupts on our tv screens. 

But if all we ever do is watch, how do we expect it to end? How do we expect it to change? A voice cries out in the wilderness “Prepare the way of the Lord!” not “Watch while others prepare the way!” 

This is active. There is going to be work. There are going to be tears. There is going to be discomfort. But there is going to be life. The waiting that we’re doing in this Advent season comes to fruition in the birth of the Christ child, just over the horizon. 

While you may feel far from Christmas cheer this morning, Advent is a better time than most to dive into this hard work of lament. Sarah Thebarge wrote for Sojourners that “the truth is, we need Christmas more than ever this year — not in spite of injustice but because of it. We need the incarnation of Love in our midst. We need the Prince of Peace to arrive in our world, in our country, in our justice system, in our hearts….This Advent, let’s follow the…star of hope that beckons us from a great distance. Let’s remind each other that, if we don’t give up, we’ll find the Light that darkness cannot overcome.” 

Let’s remind each other. Let’s not give up. 


A voice says, “cry out!” and we say, “what shall I cry?”

Fear/Hope -- Matthew 2:1-12


Grace and peace from God our creator, hope in our redeemer Jesus the Christ, and the promised gifts of the Holy Spirit are with you, always.

Today, the eleventh day of Christmas, is the Sunday on which we celebrate the holy day that teeechnically takes place tomorrow—the Epiphany of our Lord! Epiphany is about two things. Two small words with big consequences.

First, let’s talk about fear. Your fear can take you a lot of places you don’t want to go—or hold you back from great things. In the Christmas story, a few people are afraid—Mary, Joseph, the shepherds—but the story goes that angels come to them, proclaiming, “do not fear!” Wouldn’t that be helpful, if you got into a serious predicament and an angel would just hop in and remind you not to fear? Although, I’d probably be a little more like the shepherds and be afraid of the angels, on top of the fear I already had. So much for that.

King Herod, in our story this morning, is squarely in the fear category. He has heard through the grape vine that a baby has been born that may or may not be a king of some kind. This is confusing and surprising, so Herod called his favorite wise men for some assistance. They told him when and where this child had been born; Herod sent them to see this baby king and report back. Out of fear, Herod feels that his kingship, his power, his glory, is going to be usurped, some day, by a child who has just been born.

I’m not totally sure what the minimum age was for the King of Judea, but even if we wager conservatively that it’s 15 years old, Herod has about 14 years and 364 days to figure out how to keep his crown, and, frankly, he’ll probably die by some other force in that amount of time anyway, since he was almost 70 years old when Jesus was born. Spoiler alert: he dies of kidney failure like five years later.

But! When the wise men do not return—influenced by yet another angel in a dream, who tells them to go home by a different road, luckily—Herod is debilitated by fear, again. So afraid of his power being usurped a generation later, he has every child around Jesus’ age murdered, just to be safe.

I don’t think that you’ve ever decided, out of fear, to have your nation’s children murdered—I don’t think any of us in this room have Herod’s authority on that kind of thing. But what have we allowed ourselves to do out of fear? What rash decisions have we made that, upon further reflection, were far outside the scope of what was necessary? What accusations have we wildly thrown? When have we come to not even recognize ourselves? Fear is very real.

There’s a Presbyterian preacher named John Buchanan who deeply inspires me. My favorite thing he ever wrote has a lot to say about fear. He says that the reason the Bible talks so much about fear (the shepherds fear the angels; the disciples fear the consequences of Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem; and in this morning’s Isaiah text, the prophet speaks of weak hands and feeble knees—his people are afraid) is because “fear is such an enemy of life. It’s hard to love when you’re afraid. It’s hard to care passionately about anything when you’re afraid. It’s impossible to be joyful about anything when you’re afraid. Fear limits life, constrains life, pollutes life.”

In last week’s Gospel, from the story according to John, we heard it proclaimed that a light has shined in the darkness! It hearkened back to when God’s voice moved over the waters, over the chaos of the deep, and when there, too, a light shined. But just before that light, and surrounding that light, there is, of course, darkness. We do not turn on a light in an already well-lit space. The light of Christ does not come into a world already saturated by brightness, but instead comes into an immeasurable darkness.

There is plenty to fear in the world around us, and we do a good job of living in fear, scarcity, and hopelessness. But the other small world with big consequences that shows up on this the Epiphany of our Lord is hope. We might think of hope as being passive—we say that we hope something for someone when the situation is beyond our control: hope you do well on that math test! Hope you like your new haircut! Hope it doesn’t rain on your beach day! But hope is not passive. Hope is living and breathing and working hard. Hope is what carries us through. This story of the hope of the life of a child is what carries us through.

There’s a movie out right now called Saving Mr. Banks—it’s the story of the complications that surrounded making of the film Mary Poppins. I won’t spoil anything for you, I don’t think, by mentioning this beautiful line said by Tom Hanks, who plays Walt Disney. He’s talking to PL Travers, the author of Mary Poppins, explaining what’s so important about telling her story. He says that his job is to create hope with imagination because, “That’s what we storytellers do. We instill hope again and again and again.” That’s why we tell this same story year after year—the story never gets old because our need for hope in the midst of our despair never ends.

Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany are seasons that pay particular attention to the relationship between darkness and light, despair and hope. Christmas proclaimed the presence of the light. Epiphany calls us to spread the light on the journey.

And how? The best way I have heard it said is through the words of the Rev. Dr. Howard Thurman, one of my favorite civil rights activists. He wrote a short, powerful poem called the Work of Christmas, and I’d just like to read it to you.

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among brothers,
To make music in the heart.

That’s where we go from here. There’s something in this call for everyone. You have the gifts and skills required to either find the lost, or heal the broken, or feed the hungry, or release the prisoner, or rebuild the nations, or bring peace among brothers, or make music in the heart.

If you thought about it long enough, you probably already work toward more than one of those things. It is because you have been filled with the light of the Christ that you can go forward, hopeful, into a world full of people who feel defeated. Our ability to hold on to hope actually, physically, literally, deeply, fully shapes the options we have for the future.

If we do not have hope that our participation in the life of this world has any bearing on its improvement, why would we ever act? Why would we ever consider the consequences of our actions? It is our call to live in the hope of the birth of the child, the life of the man, Jesus, the death and resurrection and ascension of the Christ. “The future of humanity lies in the hands of those who are strong enough to provide coming generations with reasons for living and hoping.”

John Buchanan writes that, “to live hopefully is to work hard; to hope relentlessly is to throw yourself into the struggle for the realization of hope. To hope for justice and peace is to work for it. To hope for a time when all the children are fed is to do more than complain about the irony of hungry children in this land of abundance, it is to find some children to feed. Peace, we are regularly reminded, is hard work. Hope lives in the midst of darkness in every age. It will not be defeated, silenced, or extinguished. The light that is coming into the world shines in the darkness, after all, and the darkness has not and will not overcome it.”

Thanks be to God! Amen.