Publicly Accountable Note-to-Self

Hi. A few stories, confessions, and revelations and stuff to put on "paper" for when I forget my commitments.

In high school, I was like "I want to be a youth director" because I loved BLCYM and Jonathan (our youth director) and so, naturally, wanted to keep that forever. It's where I met my best friend, and so obviously it was the best thing out there. Typical.

Then, sophomore year of college, I met the CLU Campus Ministry, and the CLU Religion Department, (and then the Secular Student Alliance the next year) and the world of interfaith dialogue swept me off my feet. Somehow, I forgot about the life of youth ministry I'd loved. Going to seminary for the express purpose of cruising on to a PhD and being a professor and activist and all-around brainiac took center-stage. With it, the idea of parish ministry and youth, in particular, got shunted to the back burner as "less than" my newfound academic pursuits. That kind of thing was for people without higher education, I'm sure I said.

The first two years of seminary kept this ball rolling pretty hard. School is basically my favorite place, y'all, and the idea of staying there forever, reading and writing about the world seemed like the ultimate life. Being in the Bay Area, the crossover between academia and activism is pretty easy. One week, for one class, our homework was to attend an Occupy protest and write a theological reflection about it. I mean, really. Hashtag Berkeley.

And every time a fourth-year said something about, "well, once you've done internship," I just rolled my eyes for hours about how out-of-touch with reality parish ministry had to be, compared to my awesome worldview and stuff. I am so ridiculous sometimes, you guys.

The first few months of internship, I fought tooth and nail to make it reinforce my ideas. I was like "yep this proves this life isn't for me" every time something wasn't the coolest or the most academic or the most liberal or whatever. I AM LITERALLY INSUFFERABLE.

I'm a week away from completing my internship, as I write this. My project (a required part of the intern year) was helping to articulate a budding ministry of advocacy. We met with a cool guy named Brad, the Rocky Mountain Synod's advocacy director for the state of Colorado, who helped us figure out how to be in relationship with our legislators. We met monthly to learn and plan; we attended a legislative prayer breakfast; we attended Faith Advocacy Day for Colorado; I attended Ecumenical Advocacy Days, a long-weekend event in DC; I preached about being advocates for justice; we watched documentaries; we wrote our legislators; we encouraged the congregation to have opinions about things like the death penalty and other issues of criminal justice reform. It RULED.

Simultaneously, in the last 11 months, I have gone on two weekend retreats and two week-long trips (one service, one camp) with the high school and middle school youth here at Holy Trinity. We also had a girls' overnight for Dia de los Muertos, and I taught confirmation once, and I often hung out with the high school kids during their Sunday morning education hour, and I'm the captain (lol) of our "HTLC Heroes" team that's hitting up the ColorVibe 5K this Saturday. They're so cool.

And not only are they so cool, but the camp staff that I met on our trip to Joplin and our week at confirmation camp were so cool. I forgot to mention how much eye rolling I did in college and up until a month ago with regards to camp. Sorry to those I love deeply (in particular Ben and Kelsey) who love camp deeply -- I don't know if you even knew I was such an ass.

And I read Eboo Patel's book Acts of Faith, and dove headlong back into thinking that the way to change the world is through young people. And, especially, by having important conversations and interfaith conversations and serving together and advocating together. That it's definitely important to foster advocacy among adults, but that the damage future generations could do to each other will be much more easily avoided if our young people don't grow up in a world of ignorance and misunderstanding and hate, in the first place. And somehow in the mix I encountered and entered the 99 Collective, a group of young adults who are committed to transforming the world through young people, through the church. Who'da thunk.

So, now, as I go forth into the world in peace, back to my academic Berkeley life for my final year of seminary classes, I'm making some out-loud commitments.

I'm registered for classes that I think will make me a better pastor, advocate, ecumenical and interfaith partner, and innovator in what I see as the future of the Church. And I'm hoping that by putting these words out to you, that, round-a-bout February, when you see me forget myself and roll my eyes about something someone says about youth ministry, that you slap me upside the head and make me read this whole post out loud.

And, after all of that, when I graduate in May, I'm moving to DC because that's where I think the action I want in on is taking place, right now. And I sure hope that the bishop of the Metro DC synod wants to call me--even though what I'm looking for in a call is a little more than the plug-and-play into and existing situation that we see throughout the ELCA. I'm hoping to be multi-vocational, and I'm hoping to help bridge the gap between the church and the rest of the world. I want to be an advocate, and I want to effect change in the lives of young people, and I want to do it from the pulpit, and the hospital room, and other houses of worship, and the steps of the capitol, and the university campus. And maybe even from summer camp.

Because writing a paper full of "the answers" is cool and all, but actually being with people is probably significantly more effective. And follows a lot better in the footsteps of our main man, Jesus. Which, after all, is kind of what I signed up to do three years ago.

Don't let me forget it.

Hope

The last weekish has been so busy, I can hardly believe I haven't lost my head!

Last Monday, I got a great phone call with an incredible opportunity to be part of the future of advocacy in the life of young adults in the ELCA -- aka my dream life.

Tuesday morning, I attended the Legislative Prayer Breakfast with Colorado's state legislators and progressive interfaith organizations in the Denver metro area. Inspired by the words of the Methodist Bishop of the Rocky Mountain Conference, we are bold to pray for our elected leaders.

Wednesday, our Advocacy Group and Congregational Renewal Group had their monthly meetings, full of great ideas and excitement for the future of Holy Trinity.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I was in Colorado Springs with 750 middle schoolers and chaperones for the Rocky Mountain Synod gathering. It was so overstimulating that I think my ears are still ringing but it was incredible.

I told my mom that it was equal parts noise and junk food, and I'm definitely not kidding when I say that. But it wasn't just that, either. We were split into groups on Saturday (half in the morning and half in the afternoon) to go out into the community of Colorado Springs and do service projects. For a lot of kids, this was the first time they really understood themselves as the hands and feet of Jesus in the world.

Our group went to a homeless shelter and outreach program for young adults -- they serve ages 15-21, though they cannot legally house anyone under 18. So we hung out with some of the residents and heard their stories and got the grand tour of their facility -- 20 of them live in about as many square feet as I do. It's a challenging place to be, but it's a roof over their heads, which is particularly critical in the winter.

The young woman who led us around and with whom I spent the most time speaking introduced herself as TK. She and I agreed that Harry Potter is the best thing ever, and she told me about the punk band she sings in, and how she took some classes at the community college in drawing, because she wants to be a comic book artist. I thought about who I was at her age (I think she's 19) and who my friends were and what our lives were -- we were all 4-year university students all around the country -- and how impossible it is to wrap my head around having been transient for a decade. The thing that struck me the most about TK was her positive attitude and her deep gratitude for the organizations that had gotten her to where she was. She didn't talk about leaving there ASAP or how much she hated everyone or any of the things that I'd probably say if I had to spend a week there, frankly. She smiled and she laughed and she was honest with us and happy to tell us her story. She was simultaneously so like and so unlike every other 19-year-old I've ever known.

When we got back to the gathering and were in our large group meeting for the evening, the emcees walked through the crowd handing the kids a microphone to share with everyone what they'd experienced and where they'd seen the face of God that day. Mind you, this is a group of hundreds of 12- and 13-year-olds. There were countless more hands raised than there was time to hear from, and each young person had something much more profound to say than I think even they knew. I started taking notes in my phone of what was coming out of these kids' mouths:
"We were at a soup kitchen and I didn't even know the people but I cared about them. I didn't know that was possible." 
"I saw God in how nice the homeless people were to me, even though they didn't know me, and even though I'm not homeless." 
"We went to a farm, and I fed chickens whose eggs are going to feed hungry people." 
"I was cleaning a cupboard and was like, 'No one is even going to see that I did this,' but then the lady in charge thanked me for cleaning it even though it seemed like it wasn't important. I think it was God telling me that even the little things are good things to do." 
"Today I learned that I can love people I don't know."
At that one, I began to cry. This was the first time that these kids had experienced what service of others is really like. Some of them had never been in a situation where they came face to face with the people they were helping. Some of them had never met a homeless person before. For so many of these kids, this was the first time that anything had pulled at their heartstrings in a way they could express as the face of God.

As much as we lament that our pre-teens and teenagers are so separate from the world they live in and so disrespectful of others, there are several hundred middle school students who now know that they are the hands and feet of Jesus in the world, and want to do something with that.

This, coupled with the second inauguration of my main man President Barack Obama, leads me to feel serious hope for this country. And maybe you're inclined to say that what President Obama said yesterday were just words, and that these kids have probably already forgotten how they felt on Saturday, but I can't see it that way. I have hope for the future, and more importantly I have hope for the present. I hope you do, too.

Momentarily Forever

At 7am on July 28th, I got behind the wheel of a 15-passenger van full of high school kids and set off for Santa Cruz, CA for seven days of service, sunshine, worship, sleeping on a gym floor, and delicious food -- The BLCYM Summer Trip. In high school, I was lucky enough to go on three of these trips -- the first one was the summer before my junior year of high school, so I am not as lucky as the kids who get to go as incoming freshmen. It was an incredible experience to see this trip from the other side, as a leader instead of a student.

I am prone to exaggeration but seriously my small group was the best small group ever put together. They were so curious and so smart and just asked me every question they could think of, and were so impressed when it was something I'd thought about before and we could all walk through it together. And I'm not just talking about Jesus. We talked about outer space, the shooting in Aurora, Harry Potter, high school, the death penalty...you name it, it probably crossed our circle.

I really anticipated that this post would be really epic and full of pictures of all the awesome stuff we did...like it would have been were I a high school student...but instead, it's just a few words about the magnitude of the Holy Spirit's presence in 38 high schoolers. I worried about exhausting myself so close to my move to Colorado (more on that ASAP) but should have known that the week would, instead, energize me. I arrived home late that Friday night devastated that the trip was over. I didn't know what to do or where to go because I was not surrounded by my community anymore. I miss them. I really do.

The theme of the trip was Momentarily Forever (so process) and Jonathan spent his sermon times talking about experiencing God through each other in all moments, and grabbing hold of eternal life now, not just assuming it will grab us when we're dead.

One of the daily devotions was Jesus washing the disciples feet. In order to express our deep love for each other, during Wednesday night worship, Jonathan washed the leaders' feet, and we washed the feet of the kids in our group. I cried the entire time. Again, I miss them.

But rather than being down on not being with them, I'm choosing to be STOKED off what the universe is going to throw my way as I begin my internship. The spirit moves in Santa Cruz, and in Encinitas, and in Littleton. I'm sure of it.