Fill in the Blank

I listen to a lot of great podcasts. A while ago, I wanted to like, "get into" podcasts, and thought that there was like, some sort of...way that one did that. Turns out, you just click on some and listen to them and then subscribe if you want new episodes to appear on your phone. And like, I didn't want to listen to Serial or to This American Life or to Radiolab or any of the NPR and NPR-esque podcasts that everyone says "but you HAVE to listen to it!" Sometimes I am a horrific contrarian. I love NPR for life, but INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH there is more to life than NPR.

[Tangent! Once, at a Secular Student Alliance meeting at CLU, we joked for a while about what the podcast would be called that each of us would host. Grant and Evan's podcast (related to their atheism) would be called The Lack Thereof--mostly because they were always punctuating other people's descriptions of things with a jabbing "or the lack thereof!" to underscore how inauthentic everything is in American society or whatever. Hashtag undergrads. Mine, it was determined, would be called Interestingly Enough (essentially an audio version of this blog, it turns out--I just get to tell the world about things I find interesting) because I throw that phrase into a lot of sentences, usually exposing some sort of irony or bullsh or whatever, usually about church. Thanks for playing!]

If you were with me a few months ago, you know that I added some rad podcasts to my life during my white media fast during Lent. [Read all about that here.] One of those excellent podcasts, Call Your Girlfriend, recently spoke right to me.  Not literally--they didn't answer my listener question or something, but Aminatou and Ann were talking about "making it" as a writer (in an answer to a listener question, actually) and I am grateful for the care they took in answering. They noticed that the question came from a place of fear and scarcity--the woman writing in expressed the concern that there were so many great writers around her that she could never be as good as. Ann, a journalist and freelance writer extraordinaire, explained a common phase among writers that involves feeling like nothing you write is ever as good as anything you read. And then she said,
"If you're stopped in your tracks by other people's great writing instead of inspired by it, there's no future in that for you" (Episode 29).
I said, "huh" out loud. I paused the podcast for a second. I "rewound" a bit to hear her again, because I wanted to copy down the sentence so I could eventually write this about it. I do not consider myself "a writer", per se, and as such am rarely intimidated out of writing something based on reading the excellent writing of others--I so do not equate myself with them, and therefore find no problem rambling madly here with you. :)

But the reason this spoke right to me is because I often feel this way about other pastors. I sometimes allow the incredible preaching, teaching, and caring of others to stop me in my tracks and intimidate me away from being my best pastoral self. What Ann has so simply and deeply reminded me is that all those other superb pastors are part of how I am the pastor that I am. We, together, are the church. We, together, are the ELCA. We, together, are the body of Christ. Because a colleague of mine can succinctly/beautifully/boldly/radically/poetically express the Gospel does not mean that I should discontinue expressing the Gospel. So so much the opposite. I need the excellence of my peers to foster the excellence in me.

What about you? If we changed "writing" to a _______, what would it be for you? What do you do, and whose doing of that thing falsely intimidates you out of doing it the way you know to be true? Fill in that blank. And then really fill it.

That Crafty Feeling, I guess.

I just read "That Crafty Feeling", a chapter of Zadie Smith's book of essays Changing My Mind. It was a talk she gave to students a few years ago. She talked about structuring something you're writing and how her novel-writing process works/doesn't work and how foreign someone else's is.

I don't know exactly if I'm a "Micro-Manager" or "Macro Planner" (obviously my first instinct is the latter), because when I write something important--for school or a sermon--I tend to outline and/or write the middle first and move stuff around and delete whole paragraphs. She says that, for her, the first sentences is the first sentence and the last the last. To me, that sounds ABSURD. My brain could never go A-Z. I guess that answers that.

What's the coolest about this piece was that it made me want to write something! I think I miss producing words, since I'm not in seminary anymore.

In my Passion Planner (PS get one) I wrote in the "lifetime" section the goal of writing a book--a goal I definitely have but have indefinitely. Do I want to be a published theologian? Feminist? Hilarious millennial? Memoirist? Novelist? Short story author? Yes? Hahahaha.

I think that settling into my new job and life a little more has allowed/will allow me more time to sit down and read and write for pleasure. I think I may need to assign myself some of that, though.

I have intentions of kicking the blog back into gear but that always happens when I least expect it (like today when I'm about to post two things in two days after weeks of silence) and not when I plan. I'd likely be more blogtastic if I knew how public I wanted it to be. Sure, it's on the internet so it's obviously not private, but most of my real-life communities are not aware of its web address. When I write things of particular current-event substance, I share it on twitter or the facebook or whatever, but that's rare.

Anyway, I hope you're consuming media that inspires you to create and produce things. Tell me about them!

O Lord, throughout these forty days...

Working for the church makes the liturgical year weird and awesome. On internship, I sat in worship planning meetings for Advent in October, and for Lent in January, and got really messed up on what was happening when. But once we really were in each season, we were really in each season. It was excellent. This year, I got a new ministry job in the midst of Epiphany and so Lent is suddenly here and I'm diving right in!

I happen to love Lent. I love Lent because I am a speedy person. I am oriented toward the future at all times, which maybe we could argue is eschatologically appropriate or something, but that sounds really boring. Lent is, to some degree, oriented toward the future (death, Easter) but what's really crucial about it is that, during the 40 days, we're just supposed to sit. Sit in the knowledge of our own mortality, sit in the knowledge of our own sin, sit in the knowledge of our own suffering, sit in the knowledge of the suffering we inflict, sit in the absolute muck of humanity. That's why not everyone loves Lent. That doesn't sound, umm, fun. But what it does sound like is an opportunity to stop thinking about what I can add to my to-do list, and instead think about what has happened and what is happening precisely now.

Much of the spirituality of Lent is quiet (to the point of silent), reflective, and deep. It's a time to read scripture, read poetry, pray, sing, serve--like we always do!--but with a markedly different ambiance.

Next Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, on which I will say "remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return" before marking foreheads with a mix of oil and ashes. Remember that you are connected to the entire history of humanity, the entire history of life. Remember that you are God's. Remember that you are. That's not a simple task, and it needn't be. We have 40 days to linger in the knowledge and the promises of God.

How do you intend to keep a holy Lent?

I read this piece about the white church committing to black history for Lent. I'm convicted, and I'm giving it a try.

This year, I signed up for Jan Richardson's online lent retreat for the first time, and am really looking forward to it. It costs money, so it will not pair well with your Lenten budget, should you be going that route, haha.

For the past few years, I've been writing daily thank you notes as a Lenten practice and I'm not about to stop--it's an incredibly rewarding experience, even if no one writes back; half the fun is making the list of people to send notes to, and realizing I have far more than 40 dear friends.

I've been considering this minimalism challenge for a while, and though it's only 30 days long, it might be worth exploring for Lent. You could probably come up with 10 more ideas once you got rolling.

Here are some more ideas:

Lent Madness Saint Bracket
Luther Seminary's Lenten Devotion
Random Acts of Kindness
Progressive Christianity's Lent Course for 2015
Lent Journaling Prompts