I'm busy. So busy, in fact, that I'm typing this from the back row of a classroom [sorry, Mom].
Sunday mornings, I am up at 6 to be at church by 8. I lead worship at 9 and at 11 -- home around 1. Then I get everything ready for Sunday school, and it's off to the city by 3 -- home around 8. Reading every free moment.
Monday morning I leave for class at 8:45 and get home at 5:30. More reading.
Tuesday I leave for class at 7:45 and get home at 5:30. More reading.
Wednesday there is choir practice at 10, then chapel at 11, then community lunch and meetings until usually 2:00, sometimes later. More reading. Then church choir practice at 7. And then more reading.
Thursday there's worship at 9am, teaching parish meeting at 11, and then every errand I need to run and every page I still have left to read or write. I'm lucky I don't have class this day.
Friday I leave for class at 7:45, then there's formation group or LIPS meetings until some time in the afternoon. More reading, then some sort of social activity with the gang.
Saturday is spent reading. Or maybe another church meeting. And, sure, some Saturdays we do fun things. But mostly we go somewhere like a park or a beach...to read. Saturday nights are low-key, because it's back to work at 6am.
This is my life. This is [roughly] the life of every one of my classmates, too. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of fun, too, don't get me wrong. I have many lovely friends and we have many great Friday nights doing fun things. And sometimes we're like "screw it, we're going to a baseball game" on a weeknight [ie next Tuesday] because we need to breathe. And we go to concerts [next Monday] because we need to breathe. And we'll go to happy hour sometimes because we need to breathe.
Sunday night, I was at Au Coquelet [a café that's open until 2am] doing homework late into the night with a classmate, when Bree texted me that she and the gang were at PJ's and wished I was there. Uh, hell yeah I wish I was there. I wish I still lived a life where walking to PJ's on a Sunday night was totally responsible behavior. Where bailing class to go to the Getty was responsible behavior. Where the beach called our name and we went, leaving textbooks and papers at home. And backing up even further to high school where we'd play 2nd period isn't real [again, sorry, Mom] and go to Rico's for two hours and just laugh and laugh and laugh about how we were on top of the world.
We were, you know. And now, it's like the world is on top of us. We never stop reading, never stop writing, never stop processing. Learning learning learning learning it's kind of this unstoppable force.
I'd like to go back to a time when weekends full of social events felt busy and complicated. When having plans to do fun things felt difficult to manage. That time existed, for sure. It's been a few years, for me, but there are people whose lives exist this way.
I do not mean to express that furthering my education is not my great joy. It is my great joy. Sitting in a classroom among the future brilliant rostered leaders of my church and changers of my world -- that's my every day. I am a woman in graduate school. I am one of the most privileged people to ever live.
But maybe just for a little while, I'd like something besides due dates and deadlines to dictate my days.