Fasting From Frenzy

If you read my sermon from last night (aka the previous post) you will not be surprised by the content of this post about my Lenten discipline. 

Like many people do during the season of Lent, I am going to spend the next 40ish days fasting. I am going to be fasting from frenzy. I am going to resist the urge to get whipped into a panic about things that do not merit panic. I am not going to allow poor planning on the part of others to become an emergency on mine.

Oh, and I am going to read more. This likely will not come as a shock to you, unless you are shocked that I can possibly read more than I already do. February was a crazy month during which I told myself I'd have plenty of time to read and then spent approximately none of that time reading. In one respect, I am "behind schedule" on my reading (which sounds like participating in frenzy!) but in another, I am bummed out by how little time I've spent slowed down with my face in a book.

As Lent approaches each year, I often decide to read a book of devotions of some kind that I have, and then I suddenly realize halfway through Lent that I've completely stopped reading it. The truth is, I have time. I have always had time. I run out of time because I waste time. I neglect to dedicate time to important things, and somehow feel like I "don't have the energy to really give it what it deserves"—which is a bald-faced lie. I just lack discipline.

This year, I am diving into 40-Day Journey with Julian of Norwich, who was a rad weird lady that I want to get to know better. This little collection happens to have been compiled by Lisa Dahill, whom I had the pleasure of meeting at last year's Region 1&2 Lutheran Campus Minister's gathering. Fun!

Since we call these Lenten practices "disciplines" I am therefore going to be more "disciplined" about spending a very easy 10 minutes that I certainly do have (or however long it takes me to read my daily Julian of Norwich thinger).

Oh, and! I am going to take a technology sabbath in the evenings, skipping out on screens after 8pm. In part, I am going to do this so I stop reading work emails at 10pm like some kind of person with no work-life balance. Also, it is better for my sleep. I will probably occasionally watch movies that go past this time but I will wear my blue-light-reducing glasses when I do! Huzzah. Also, some nights I am still at work at 8pm so obviously this one is more of a "guideline" than a rule okay bye

Okay! So! I am going to spend Lent doing fewer, better things. I am going to resist the false narrative that I must do everything and do it now. I am going to be present—to myself, to Jonathan, and to God. I'm going to take a walk outside as many days as weather permits (what up, spring). I'm going to ride my bike places that I could drive to because I am not actually in any sort of hurry most days, and especially not during my fast from frenzy!

Cool. I'm excited about this. I want to get started! But like, getting started means doing nothing. Ahhhhhh

Sacrifice/Abundance

[Jesus] came so that you may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).

Y'all, I live an abundant life.

I'm writing this in my notebook on a turbulent Southwest flight from Phoenix to Salt Lake City. This morning, I woke up in Chicago, the final day of our Episcopal Service Corps Program Director meeting. I woke up exhausted, given that I'd slept less than 6 hours three nights in a row...and had been talked into a tequila shot for the first time in who knows how long. It's impossible to resists following a full day of work conferencing with dinner and drinking and endless laughter with my ESC colleagues--especially when we get to visit incredible cities like Chicago!

It was so much more abundant this time, too. My first ESC PD meeting was ~3 months into my new job--a little overwhelming. I met many wonderful folks and so this time got to say "good to see you" instead of just "nice to meet you"--one of the best transitions we make as humans.

There were a few new faces this time (including my roommate, Broderick, who I already knew from the internet hahaha) and folks absent from the Philly meeting regarded me as "new" again.

Our work, too, reflects this idea of abundance. We spend our days with excellent young adults, exploring and absorbing the world around them.

They live simply, in close quarters, with a lot on their plates. We could focus on the sacrifice (autonomy, money, privacy) but choose rather to see abundance (relationships, spiritual and vocational discernment, group fun times).

I could focus on my lack of sleep, inconsistent hours, cross-country responsibilities, middle-distance relationship, and vocational exhaustion. But choose rather to see my plethora of new experiences, never-a-dull-moment opportunities, support from my partner, and continuing reformation.

Since I'm like definitely the last person alive who hasn't read Brené Brown's books, I almost don't want to post about diving into Gifts of Imperfection--like I'm so late to the party, all of you will be astonished and think I'm lame.

Since you've read her book(s) and watched her TED talks, you know that fear is bullsh, because if you shame me for being late to the shame resiliency party, you suck.

So! I'm just stopping by, briefly, to let you know what I am enough and you are enough!

Maybe you knew that already, maybe you forgot, maybe you never knew. I don't know where you're at but I now know more about where I'm at, and where you might be?

We're all in this together, as usual.

Cool. Bye!