Yesterday, I went on an iTunes downloading spree. I didn't go that crazy -- I downloaded 11 songs -- but it was so awesome. I had been meaning to download all of these songs for a while, so to get them all at once was like musical Christmas! So today I felt like it would be a good call to actually use my iPhone for one of its most obvious features -- as an iPod! I walked to class wearing headphones. I never do this, and often judge people who do, because it makes you look like you don't want to talk to anyone, and I usually see like a zillion people I know on the way to class. But today I was late (because I was syncing this new music onto my phone, ahhahahah) and so there was no one to talk to anyway. As I was walking, Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody" (one of my new songs) came on. My first explanation of what it felt like is that I was on The Hills -- a show I don't even watch -- but it just felt like such MTV background music. And walking around CLU on days like today (perfect weather!) makes you feel like you don't have a care in the world, especially when you have like one billion cares in the world.
It was odd. I had a slight sentimental moment, thinking about how this is my last Monday of classes. (I am SO into counting the STUPIDEST lasts of things.) This is my last week of my undergraduate career. You know, it's very clear that I am going to miss this place. And these people. And this post is NOT going to be me breaking down. I don't have time for that just yet. Wait like a week and a half for that one. And the other reason this is going to be positive is that, today, I felt positive about leaving. I felt like I had had my CLU experience and I was ready to go on.
I often feel like my year at USF gypped me out of a full CLU experience, but that's not going to change. And my CLU experience would not have been what it was if I hadn't gone to USF, and my life wouldn't be what it is if I hadn't gone to USF. So I'm letting go of that excuse for not wanting to leave here. I have been all I could be at CLU, and CLU has been all it could be for me.
And sometimes I fear that I'm just going to go around looking for a way to get back here. And I don't necessarily mean physically. I mean trying to stay in this stage of life. But that's not what it's about. I've found this mindset and this way of life, and I'm going to go and find the next place to be me, post-CLU. I'll be part of the CLU family forever. This is a beautiful place and it is overflowing with beautiful people, and that is something I don't think can ever be replaced. But it's not about replacing CLU. It's about taking what CLU has given me, and going and giving that to the rest of the world.
USF's motto is "Educating minds and hearts to change the world." And I always forget that that's USF's, not CLU's. Because that's what I feel like I've been given. So, in the end, USF gave me the leg up into what CLU could finish. I'm ready now.
It was odd. I had a slight sentimental moment, thinking about how this is my last Monday of classes. (I am SO into counting the STUPIDEST lasts of things.) This is my last week of my undergraduate career. You know, it's very clear that I am going to miss this place. And these people. And this post is NOT going to be me breaking down. I don't have time for that just yet. Wait like a week and a half for that one. And the other reason this is going to be positive is that, today, I felt positive about leaving. I felt like I had had my CLU experience and I was ready to go on.
I often feel like my year at USF gypped me out of a full CLU experience, but that's not going to change. And my CLU experience would not have been what it was if I hadn't gone to USF, and my life wouldn't be what it is if I hadn't gone to USF. So I'm letting go of that excuse for not wanting to leave here. I have been all I could be at CLU, and CLU has been all it could be for me.
And sometimes I fear that I'm just going to go around looking for a way to get back here. And I don't necessarily mean physically. I mean trying to stay in this stage of life. But that's not what it's about. I've found this mindset and this way of life, and I'm going to go and find the next place to be me, post-CLU. I'll be part of the CLU family forever. This is a beautiful place and it is overflowing with beautiful people, and that is something I don't think can ever be replaced. But it's not about replacing CLU. It's about taking what CLU has given me, and going and giving that to the rest of the world.
USF's motto is "Educating minds and hearts to change the world." And I always forget that that's USF's, not CLU's. Because that's what I feel like I've been given. So, in the end, USF gave me the leg up into what CLU could finish. I'm ready now.